thought addiction, implications, & how to make changes
Circumstantial Thinking
Have you ever realized that when things are going really well in life… it’s so easy to be happier, be kind, and it seems like more good things just keep coming and coming…
You got that job promotion you’d been praying for... your parents tell you how proud they are… your best friend says she can come into town this weekend… someone pays for your food in the Chick-fil-A line… it’s so easy to be grateful and you wonder how life is so good…
but on the flip side… when something bad happens or you’re under a large amount of stress… it seems like everything else starts to go wrong, your thoughts and emotions are all over the place, and everything (because of that one bad thing that kick started it all) begins to pile up and just plain sucks.
You had a horrible first practice back after Christmas break… your professor gives you back the grade of that test you knew you bombed… you spill your coffee… you’re late to your advisor meeting… you don’t have time, money, or energy to cook dinner… you’re overwhelmed with everything, all the time… you wonder when you will get caught up and catch a break…
You may not realize it, but these patterns are no coincidence.
Our minds and brains are vulnerable and sensitive to what’s going on around us… making us more susceptible to change our thinking to match our circumstances.
Kind of sucky, right? Who wants to be susceptible to that type of uncontrollable change?…
You thought you looked so good in your new Christmas clothes yesterday after you picked up your phone and saw that boy you’ve had a crush on texted you back… but it’s a new day and you just opened your email to find out you’ve been denied acceptance to your dream school, so now when you look in the mirror you don’t see the same body… you see a girl that needs to lose 15 lbs and make a same-day appointment for balayage & botox (even though you’re in the same beautiful body as yesterday).
It’s important to recognize these patterns, so we can learn to control our thoughts and how we feel despite our fluctuating circumstances.
Or maybe this is you… finding your thoughts and feelings fluctuating throughout each day, but you somehow always find yourself landing on some sort of negative emotion.
You got elected to your sorority’s executive board!!! “But what if the girls stop liking me when I’m in charge?”
The cute guy from your biology class asked for your phone number!!! “But what if he thinks I’m weird?”
Quit second-guessing yourself. Quit letting other’s opinions of you dictate your self-worth. You are a good & worthy individual. It is your job to be a good person, not convince others you are one.
You played the best game of your life!!! But then you let that teammate’s rude comment ruin the rest of your night.
You got an A on the test you studied so hard for!!! But then you burn your dinner, say you can’t catch a break, and forget all about that little win earlier.
Stop giving other’s negativity more power over your own positivity. Stop letting minor inconveniences overpower major successes. Take the win & hold onto it. You deserve it.
In each of these cases, though, there is one common theme. Your circumstances (your environment, the people around you, mother nature, the enemy, dumb luck… whatever you choose to call it) are fighting to take control of your thoughts, your mind, and your peace. It is your job, then, to reclaim control of what you can – your thoughts. It is your choice to fight back and claim peace against all odds.
If you allow your circumstances to have power over your emotions, then you are at the mercy of factors, people, and opinions you cannot control.
Addiction to Negativity…
Our brain’s are unfortunately very sensitive to negativity… meaning it is very possible and very common to become addicted to negative thinking (doubt, pessimism, anxiety, etc.).
The science behind this…
You experience some sort of stressor (pain, judgement, denial… it can be anything)… your adrenal gland releases cortisol (the stress hormone) into the brain… and the “alarm” part of your brain (the amygdala) becomes more sensitive to stress & the part of your brain that helps you process emotions and put things into context (the hippocampus) is weakened (2)… so now you can’t think clearly, can’t process what’s really going on, and you’re more sensitive to further stress. great! (not really, obviously.)
This creates a negative feedback loop, reinforcing the negative emotions and feelings with further negative emotions and feelings.
Good news, though! Your brain is flexible. Your brian can be rewired… and you have control over that.
But, it does take effort. And it does take hard work.
Neuroplasticity of the Brain
The brain is composed of neurons that fire and wire maximally with regard to whatever is in the field of attention and awareness (1). This means that whatever you focus on the most, becomes your preferential route for thinking.
Think of it this way…
You are consistent in the gym and do the same lifts every week, so you build strength & muscle memory and struggle less with exercises you started weeks ago. Start training your brain to focus on the good.
You ride the same 4-wheeler trails over and over again in your backyard, so the path is always clear and easy to drive. Start clearing trails of positivity in your mind.
You buy that new car and then all of a sudden you see them all over town. Buy into positivity and buy into your self-worth.
So, to reroute our brain and its neural pathways to be more preferential toward positivity, we must improve our ability to regulate and control our awareness and attention. It takes a conscious decision to shift our thoughts from a subconscious, and seemingly uncontrollable, negative emotion or experience to focus on a point of positivity.
The education of awareness would be the education par excellence.
– William James, 1950
If you improve your awareness of your thoughts, you can redirect your brain to focus on positivity and ultimately create new neural pathways that promote those same thinking patterns.
The Rewards and Consequences of Your Thought Patterns
Despite what you may think, your thinking influences even more than your emotions and feelings (3).
Routine negative thinking is associated with…
- low self-esteem
- weakened immunity
- poor physical health outcomes
- stress in romantic & platonic relationships
- addiction
On the other hand, positive thought patterns have been assoicated with benefits such as…
- improved social connection
- increased resilience
- increasing physical activity
- reduced anxiety & depression
Even more the reason to make a change. Even more the reason to make your thought pattern awareness a priority.
You may be asking yourself… How did I even get here? When did I become so negative?
If you’ve found yourself wondering why you’re so prone to negative thought patterns, consider these points…
- maybe you’ve experienced some sort of trauma… positivity may seem foreign and therefore is more uncomfortable than the natural negativity you have experienced
- maybe it’s self-sabotage or some sort of “protective mechanism” you’ve put into place… you’d rather tell yourself something negative will happen so if it does then you’re less disappointed because “you knew it all along”
- maybe you grew up in or have been conditioned to a negative environment… it’s all you know & maybe you didn’t even realize there is another way
- maybe you don’t even know how you got so addicted to negative thinking, or realize you are at all… all you know is this is how you think
- maybe you’re so tired of things going wrong and people letting you down you simply choose it… because it’s easy… because it’s predictable
- maybe you don’t feel consumed by negative thoughts… but you fill all empty space with distraction… scrolling through TikTok, working yourself to death, pointless gossip… you may not be overwhelmed with obvious negativity, but you lack the fulfillment of positivity
I’m here to tell you, though, these are all lies. The enemy comes to steal, kill, & destroy. The enemy wants you to believe you are alone. The enemy wants you to believe there is no other way, no good outcome, no hope at all… Do not claim the lies. There is always hope. There is always faith.
Give yourself grace. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling a certain way, but don’t make a decision to stay there. Bad things happen to good people & vice versa. Don’t waste time and energy trying to make sense of why something happened to you or why something didn’t. Accept that you are only in control of so much… your thoughts, words, and actions… and release the need to understand and justify the things you cannot control.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 tells us, “The race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, or bread to the wise, or riches to the discerning, or favor to the skillful; rather time and chance happen to all of them.” Although it would be nice for the battles we are given to be assigned based on a “most-prepared” basis, sometimes there is no explanation for things that happen. Sometimes they just do. Time and chance happen to all of us.
Maybe Ecclesiastes 7:14 can provide you with a little hopeful reminder. It says, “In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity, consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that no one can discover anything that will come after him.” Enjoy the days when life is good and all goes well and according to plan. And on the days that don’t… God still has a plan. God made this seemingly impossible day just as he made all of your best days. Maybe this day, though, is not meant specifically for praise, celebration, and overwhelming gratitude… maybe this day is meant for growth – to strengthen you, to prepare you, to teach you. It is not our job to understand… God directly tells us we won’t. It is our decision to choose to stand in faith, to choose positivity, and to love those around us.
If we know how to fight negativity… then why don’t we just do it?
Short answer… it’s hard work. It’s not easy.
It all comes down to motivation… so ask yourself…
How bad do I want to change? Is it hurting me enough to consider trying something else? Do the rewards of changing my thought patterns seem high enough for the amount of effort it will take?
Is the risk & the work, energy, and effort required worth the potential outcome?
I’m letting you know now – yes, it is 100% worth the effort. No matter how difficult.
Redirecting your thought patterns isn’t always easy. In fact, it normally isn’t. Some days will be easier than others. Other days, though – when you’re trying to focus on anything other than the horror and discomfort in front of you – it won’t be as simple as turning your head to see the greener grass on the other side. It will feel as if you’re trying to climb a mountain… rolling up the weight of a boulder with you… with a 70 lb backpack strapped across your back… when you haven’t eaten in days… and you look up… still to find you can’t even see the peak of the mountaintop you thought you were approaching. Even here, though, this climb is worth it. Because once you climb your Mount Everest, the other mountains begin to seem like a warm-up.
No bad day is worth the ease and comfort of a negative thought pattern and routine, but, I promise you, every good day is worth the effort and energy of self-awareness and thought redirection.
References
- Hanson, R. (2017). Positive neuroplasticity: The neuroscience of mindfulness. In J. Loizzo, M. Neale, & E. J. Wolf (Eds.), Advances in contemplative psychotherapy: Accelerating healing and transformation (pp. 48–60). Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315630045-5
- Lane RC, Hull JW, Foehrenbach LM. The addiction to negativity. Psychoanal Rev. 1991 Fall;78(3):391-410. PMID: 1763149.
- Salovey, P., Rothman, A. J., Detweiler, J. B., & Steward, W. T. (2000). Emotional states and physical health. American Psychologist, 55(1), 110–121. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.110